Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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