He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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