ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
