I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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