i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
