Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
