Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
