It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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