Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
