i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
