Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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