Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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