ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I wear drunk well.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
