apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Vodka?
Forever.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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