Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
