The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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