glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
