I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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