Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
