kristin has been a bad kristin
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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