Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
