I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
