Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
They have beer where we have blood.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize