If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
