Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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