this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
