I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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