Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize