Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
