I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drunk is a universal language darling
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