Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
do herpes really smell.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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