plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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