Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she peed on how many people?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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