ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
