The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
