I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
