This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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