I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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