Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize