TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
