I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
