Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
