I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
