mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
