I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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