You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im holly from the hills drunk
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
