I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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