sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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