Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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