Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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