a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize