Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
