YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
