look no pants
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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