We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
