i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
