I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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