:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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