How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
