You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize
