i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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