Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
