Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
