yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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