We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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