Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
