don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
