Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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